On Monday I head back to the world of full time work, leaving little B in daycare all day long, every day of the week. Today is a bittersweet day – the last full day we’ll spend together. I’m on an emotional roller-coaster and she is either cranky and tired or picking up on my emotional instability. Sigh.
I alternate between marinating in the joy and love I feel looking at her, seeing her gummy smile and making her giggle and dwelling on the sad fact that these days are over. Sure I’ll have a day here and there when I’m home with her but it’ll be different. Add in a healthy dose of guilt because I don’t think I could hack it as a totally stay at home mom and there you have my roller coaster.
Additional issues – my work situation is not the ideal. I love the idea of my job and the work that I do but am really frustrated by some things. That’s all I’ll say about that.
So… that’s where I am today. Here. Now. Trying not to dwell on next week.